he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
