come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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