I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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