Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
