As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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