But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
