is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
