You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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