it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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