it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Come on in and take your pants off
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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