I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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