Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I intend to get homeless drunk
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
