i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
