the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
