At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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