check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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