Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
