if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
