How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
