Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
