You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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