Got a toothbrush?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
is it fun? or sober?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
