and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize