The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
