erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I have aggressive nipples.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
