It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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