Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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