there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
