I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
