I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
