I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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