chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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