It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
