yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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