then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
