I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize