we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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