they need to just BURY HIM!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
