what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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