omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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