apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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