she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
