lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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