My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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