I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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