when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
