fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
