We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
