also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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