At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i will never coherently bang her
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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