I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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