all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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