Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
