whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
