Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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