I bet he comes in French.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
