i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
