you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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