My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
