Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
