he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
A bitchslap is in order.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
