Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
