Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
