physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
tell your sister to shave her snatch
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize