I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think I won the penis lottery.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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